Well now my sink has a water filter attachment, the dishwasher can hook up AND its not leaking. Good to see it took 1/2 a weekend to work out the bugs. Also the leak was the dishwasher drainline
so terminal to terminal is 12.57v, connector to connector is 12.56v, i disconnected the ground and there is <20mA draw, and the alternator has continuity.
im pretty sure that means my starter is failing. better start parking on a hill